BEING UNIQUE IN A TEAM

Our children are often confronted with the challenge to conform to the rules of a group or run the risk of being isolated. Being unique can be viewed as uncool by their peers.  They can easily become victims of social outcasts for wanting to do what they know best, which is being themselves. Parents should be the first to highlight the deference between individual and group identity. Individual identity is not in opposition to group identity, but rather the ability to be yourself within the group.  

Remind your child that being unique does not mean that you have to swim upstream or go against the rules.  What it does mean is that you do the right thing in your own unique way.

Schools encourage collaborative learning and teamwork which emphasise the important value of being part of a team, sharing the same values and working towards the same goal. Emphasis is placed on working as a team to achieve the best results.

Encouraging our children to be part of a school production, choir, and team sport or outreach group is helpful in developing your child’s ability to recognize their own role in making a meaningful contribution to the world around them. A successful play is characterised by the uniqueness of the different roles of the characters, who add to the success of the overall performance.

We play an important role in motivating our children to be true to their own abilities and talents. Most importantly we mirror confidence through our interaction with the world and set the example in the way we participate in various team related activities.

I am a firm believer that our children get  social cues by observing our behaviour. This places the responsibility on us to be aware of how we express our indifferences with the teams we belong to. It also highlights how we contribute to the success of the team’s success without compromising our own uniqueness.

Yet Parenting is a process of helping our children in discovering what they are best at and where they can add the most value through their own uniqueness. Encourage, support and motivate your child to develop a own identity by doing and explore new and exciting things about themselves as well as being part of a team.

Happy parenting!

MAKING DECISIONS

Being the parent of a 19 and 16 year old poses its own challenges, and this past week has been no exception. Both my kids are now independent young people and hearing that I should allow them to sometimes do their own thing and allow them to fail, because this is how they will learn to take responsibility, reminded me that my children are adults in training. They are creating their own identity and developing their own personality.

This made me realize that one of the greatest challenges lie in the ability to know when to make decisions for our children and when to stand back and allow them to choose.

 

Michael Grose in: Raising 21st Century Kids. Helping children make smart decisions, distinguishes three areas of decision-making for parents and children:

 

• Parents Rule: these are decisions where there is no negotiation,
• Working things out together: these are areas where you and your child negotiate outcomes and
• Kids Decide: giving your children full authority in some areas.

 

These rules can act as a guide and should reflect the values of the family and take into consideration the age of the child.

 

Our children should  be reminded that all decisions have consequences – whether positive or negative.

They can use the following three questions to help them assess consequences of a decisions:

 

•           Is this behaviour safe for me?

•           Is this behaviour fair to others?

•           Is this behaviour smart and in my long-term best interests?

 

Hopefully we will allow ourselves to grow with our children by allowing them to develop their own personalities in a loving, nurturing environment.

 

Remember that the power of YET Parenting lies in the knowing that our children are growing up to be the best they can be, with us by their side.