CREATING FAMILY CULTURE

Memories of my childhood is filled with happy moments. These moments are all marked by family gatherings and repeated events, year after year, simple routines and practices. Only much later I realised that our family had a unique way of living. This has now become our family culture, which is passed on from one generation to the next. These are the things refer to when say to our children: “When I was your age we always did…now I would like to share it with you.”

These repeated actions is what forms the foundation of our children’s’ experience of family life.  The way we speak to each other, deal with conflict and set boundaries all contribute to the state of our family’s healthy living. Factors that shape our family culture.

Family culture is the unique way in which we help our children to engage with the world and be true to their family values. A strong and positive family culture is based on trust, mutual respect and understanding. This is the moment when your child respond to negative influences with: “I don’t think my parents would like it if I do this.” 

A simple example is the way in which we interact with our children’s friends. Having and open house for friends skills our children in sharing our home with others. There are set expectations when having guests over and how we expect them to behave. This is mirrored by us when we have family over, or have our friends over. We set the example that becomes our culture. All these are negotiated through repetition. 

Family culture is about creating a connected union between us, our children and our extended family. I like the idea of celebrating family successes by inviting family over for a simple meal.  The children know that they need to assist with the planning and preparations as this forms part of the celebration and our family culture.

Family culture is the accepted norms and values that the family upholds. These are the simple yet important things that we hold dear and want to pass on to our children. Some of these values can be examined by discussing the following considerations as a family:

• How we expect the children to address adults regardless of their social standing or economic status.
• How we view material things. Are we appreciating the small inexpensive gifts as much as the expensive ones?
• How we view education and the importance of achieving our best.
• How we deal with family crises.

Our family is our brand and this brand is recognised by our family’s culture. Yet Parenting speaks to that constant pursuit to uphold strong traditions and creating a sense of belonging for our children.

Let’s continue to create memories with our children that will become part of their being and family culture.

Happy parenting!

 

BEING UNIQUE IN A TEAM

Our children are often confronted with the challenge to conform to the rules of a group or run the risk of being isolated. Being unique can be viewed as uncool by their peers.  They can easily become victims of social outcasts for wanting to do what they know best, which is being themselves. Parents should be the first to highlight the deference between individual and group identity. Individual identity is not in opposition to group identity, but rather the ability to be yourself within the group.  

Remind your child that being unique does not mean that you have to swim upstream or go against the rules.  What it does mean is that you do the right thing in your own unique way.

Schools encourage collaborative learning and teamwork which emphasise the important value of being part of a team, sharing the same values and working towards the same goal. Emphasis is placed on working as a team to achieve the best results.

Encouraging our children to be part of a school production, choir, and team sport or outreach group is helpful in developing your child’s ability to recognize their own role in making a meaningful contribution to the world around them. A successful play is characterised by the uniqueness of the different roles of the characters, who add to the success of the overall performance.

We play an important role in motivating our children to be true to their own abilities and talents. Most importantly we mirror confidence through our interaction with the world and set the example in the way we participate in various team related activities.

I am a firm believer that our children get  social cues by observing our behaviour. This places the responsibility on us to be aware of how we express our indifferences with the teams we belong to. It also highlights how we contribute to the success of the team’s success without compromising our own uniqueness.

Yet Parenting is a process of helping our children in discovering what they are best at and where they can add the most value through their own uniqueness. Encourage, support and motivate your child to develop a own identity by doing and explore new and exciting things about themselves as well as being part of a team.

Happy parenting!