MAKING
DECISIONS
Being
the parent of a 19 and 16 year old poses its own
challenges, and this past week has been no exception. Both my kids
are now independent young people and hearing that I should allow them to
sometimes do their own thing and allow them to fail, because this is how they
will learn to take responsibility, reminded me that my children are adults in
training. They are creating their own identity and developing their own
personality.
This made me realize that one of the greatest challenges
lie in the ability to know when to make decisions for our
children and when to stand back and allow them to choose.
Michael Grose in:
Raising 21st Century Kids. Helping
children make smart decisions, distinguishes three areas of decision-making for
parents and children:
- Parents Rule: these are decisions where there is no negotiation,
- Working things out together: these are areas where you and your child negotiate outcomes and
- Kids Decide: giving your children full authority in some areas.
These rules can act as a guide and
should reflect the values of the family and take into consideration the age of
the child.
Our children should be reminded
that all decisions have consequences – whether positive or negative.
They can use
the following three questions to help them assess consequences of a decisions:
• Is
this behaviour safe for me?
• Is this behaviour fair to others?
• Is this behaviour smart and in my
long-term best interests?
Hopefully we
will allow ourselves to grow with our children by allowing them to develop their
own personalities in a loving, nurturing environment.
Remember that the
power of YET Parenting lies in the knowing that our children are growing up to be the best they can be, with us by their side.